Dreams

Talking through our Advent readings and questions this season has gotten Tim and I onto some topics that aren't Christmas related at all.  Last night, we read the passage in Luke 2:1-20 where God comes into Joseph's life in a big way and changes how he thought it would go.  God sends an angel who says "Marry Mary.  This is my Son.  Name him Immanuel."  One of the questions asked was, "Has God ever interrupted your life in a big way?"
The first thing I said jokingly was, "well, I've never seen an angel."  And then we sat and thought for a minute (waiting for our chicken to come out of the oven).  I eventually talked about how it was really big for me when God showed me how I was supposed to drop out of nursing school.  It was something that I had been working toward for 2 years previous to getting in, taking prerequisites and filling out applications.  Nursing school was my dream.
I also told Tim last night, that maybe I hadn't been listening when God maybe was discouraging me not to go to nursing school before, so He had to drop things like a ton of bricks on me to get my attention.  Having to drive an hour to practicum instead of 30min, oh and be there at 6am...getting practicum on Saturday, which would cut into the time we got to see each other...just ending practicum before the wedding...finals the week before the wedding...Tim not having success finding a job in Ventura area...not having friends in the Ventura area.  Mid-November it totally hit me and I remember crying in the car telling my mom (as we drove to look at a possible wedding location) that I didn't think that I was supposed to stay in nursing school, but instead move up to Nipomo where Tim was then.  For me, it was HUGE.
So now I'm asking myself,

what are dreams?  

Do they change? Do we realize we never really had them anyways?  Do we become lazy and satisfied in an "easy" life and not want the hard work to achieve? Do we realize we never really had those dreams anyways?  Do we make new dreams? 

Some of my friends are living their dreams.  Carolyn and Reanna are one semester away from finishing law school.  Holly is in DC in a graduate program for, um, something about Reconciliation in history that I can never remember (sorry)!  The ladies I started nursing school with will be graduating in May.  And here I am, not really doing anything, just cleaning the house and making Christmas gifts...oh and growing a baby.  I guess I find support and reassurance in friends who I have in my Bible Study here who are content (at least in some semblance) to be stay-at-home moms too, and in those friends from Westmont who are married and have little ones at home too (thank you Facebook for making me feel "normal").  So I find myself asking these questions, wondering if I have "given up" on my dream of nursing school, or if I have just learned enough about myself now to know how unhappy I would be as a nurse (or an athletic trainer, or a physical therapist, or any of those other vocations I once dreamed of).   And as God brings me joy in the simple life I live, I realize this:

Not every one's dream needs to be big.   

Sometimes they're small.  

When I think about what I am doing now, I think back to high school, and how I had to write what I wanted to be when I grow up, maybe for the yearbook or something.  I remember probably writing Physical Therapist (ha, I've come a long way from that), but telling one of my best friends that really I wanted to get married and be a stay-at-home mom.  But you know, people laugh at girls who say that, especially ones who go to Westmont, saying they are going for their MRS degree.  But I wasn't that type either.  I barely dated at Westmont, and I didn't meet Tim, who went to Cal Poly instead, until after graduating college.
But now I don't care what people say, especially the feminists who have fought so hard for the "right" for women to have high powered jobs outside of the home and look at it as a privilege to send your kids to daycare.  Even my close friends have said critically, "you aren't going back to work?"  Being a stay-at-home mom is a privilege, too.  Yes, we have to put up with poopy diapers, children throwing fits, and silly dogs all day, but we also get to be there for the sweet moments in development (and I'm so excited to get to go to the women's Bible Study at church).  In this day and age, it can even be a dream for some parents to stay at home.  Not all households are financially stable on one income.  Everyday Tim and I thank God that with his job he is able to support us and I can stay home with our little one coming soon.  It may not always be that way. But right now we can live in thankfulness that God is providing for us, and giving me an opportunity that can never be replaced.

Things I've Learned in the Past 20 Weeks

Okay, maybe this should be called "Things I've Learned in the Last 15 Weeks" but...I think I was still learning things (although I didn't know it yet), before we found out we were pregnant!

• If I put my hand on my stomach, the baby stops moving.  Tim is never going to be able to feel this little one!!! 
• Cramps are not always cramps.  Sometimes they are your colon talking to you, telling you you need to eat more fiber.  In that case, if you are a Tregea (aka my mom's family), and you also have a chocolate aversion, you're probably pregnant, regardless of what the test says.  Wait 5 days and take it again.  They only cost $1 at the Dollar Tree.  
• I need protein before dinner.  I've noticed on days when I go on a run and eat a yogurt, I don't get a headache.  Days that I choose to eat toast or something plain carbs, I usually end up with a good headache until I eat some protein. 
• We eat better when Tim cooks one meal a week.  I'm stuck in a rut and tired of all the dishes I make, he goes online and looks up Giada's recipes and makes new things (it must be his older brother Andrew's influence...Andrew who will not order the same thing over again at a restaurant)!
• On health (and also great advice right at the beginning):  "Everything that is abnormal when you're not pregnant, is normal when you're pregnant." -Carlene
• Our dogs will do anything for food.  After trying for EIGHT MONTHS to teach them to jump into the back of my SUV (so I don't have to pick up 57# dogs), put their food up there (or throw a little piece of cheese), and they hop right in.  Stevie and I even got them to jump into the bed of her Dodge Ram Hemi one day.  Ridiculous.  
• Choose to either work 7 hour days on your feet for $10/hour, or go running.  I eventually chose running.  And I feel so much better.  And my house is clean now.  
• The only way I am going to clean the house is if I make a schedule, because, I hate vacuuming.  
• Apparently listening to classical music while you are pregnant doesn't make your baby smarter, but I do wonder what hip-hop and country music do to a baby...
• REI has really, really good deals!!! I'm buying a BOB stroller and getting the carseat FREE.  
• Camping isn't so bad when pregnant.  There's no chores to do, and you can sit around on the beach and read books.  Husbands are even more likely to be helpful, there's something manly about cooking and doing dishes when it's done in the dirt.  
• Painting toes, cutting toe nails, putting on socks, and tying shoes in jeans is a no-no.  
• The Belly Bands are AMAZING!!! After being so sad and thinking about the next 5 months I will spend in yoga pants and leggings (being cheap and not wanting to actually BUY maternity pants lol), Carlene texted me about her belly band and how she could wear jeans!  I pulled mine out (still in the Target packaging) and ended up testing it out on Thanksgiving day.  If jeans are still comfortable after Thanksgiving dinner, its a winner!  Now I have returned to my regular attire of jeans, tank tops, and Juicy zip hoodies.  

Wednesday is our 20 week ultrasound!  Yea!  

First Day Off Work!!!

How do I celebrate my first day as a stay at home mom??? By being woken up before 6am, like any mom is! Except this time it was Kensi; I guess Tim didn't shut the bedroom door enough and soon after he left Kensi came in and put her feet up on the edge of the bed and saw me and got all excited and started whining and crying.
I ignored her for 15 minutes before getting up and taking them on our run (before it gets 87 degrees here) and were back by 7:15am. Now 9am finds me sitting in Big Brand Tires getting new tires on my car, and buying felt (shhhhh Christmas is coming)!

God knows better than us

Today as I drove to Target, I drove by some of the streets that we looked at houses on back in the spring, and I was reminded how

God knows better than us.

I thought about each of the houses as I drove by.  I really, really wanted the Woodmere house, it was one of the first we looked at in our price range and we even took both our parents to see it.  We thought about making an offer on it, but then before we even got home that evening, we found out another offer had been accepted on it.  I was devastated.
We started looking at more houses, and looked at a house on Blue  Ridge that Tim in particular really liked.  It was bigger, with a bigger back yard, in a nicer neighborhood, but more expensive, and further into the middle of Santa Maria, meaning we wouldn't be in the Orcutt school district, and it wouldn't cut off as much of Tim's commute as living in Orcutt proper would.  We decided to wait it out.
Then we found out that the people who had the offer on Woodmere may be backing out due to arguing with the sellers.  I felt like God must want us to have the house!!!  We put in a backup offer and it was strong.  Through much confusion and poor communication with our realtor, we found out there was never really any possibility of getting the house, and the other offer closed.
After many tears from me, we switched realtors to Dianna Vonderheide with King Properties.  The difference was amazing!!!  She's our generation and carries an iPhone, and told us to email and text her, and she always got right back to us, when we did put in an offer, we used DocuSign on my phone to sign the papers while we were out to dinner in SLO with my family!
Our first time meeting with her, we visited maybe 5 houses, one of which we had seen before but it had fallen out of Escrow.  It was a house on Mountain View in Orcutt that I had liked before, it was move in ready aside from the backyard, but it was a little more expensive.  We put in an offer on this house.  The sellers asked for "best offers" because they said they had 5 good offers.  We debated about moving our numbers up, or trusting that God would just get the house for us, but after a couple days of prayer, we decided that we had to put a little more money in to show God that we were willing to sacrifice, but we weren't going up to the said "guarantee" price, because we also wanted to know that if we got the house it was because

GOD GOT US THE HOUSE.  

Our numbers ended up being a combination of Tim and Drew's lucky numbers, and our offer was accepted.  We love where we are living.  Now that we put grass in the backyard, Cole and Kensi love it too.  We are 5 minutes away from the Millers; we live right off the 135 highway that Tim takes to work and he carpools now, sometimes only driving to work one day a week; my commute is shorter to work too; and this house truly feels like home, and a house we will be thrilled to have a little baby in!!!  Now I KNOW that God wanted us in this house.  And I am so thankful that He always knows better than us and takes care of us even if we don't understand! 

Why I Hate the Hospital

Okay, I'm not sure I HATE the hospital, but there are many things that make me very unexcited to end up there at the end of my pregnancy! Hospital food, dry yellow jello, hospital gowns, complex patterned curtains, and IVs of course.  These are some of the things that bothered me as an 11 year old in the hospital.

The day after my 11th birthday, we found out I had an acoustic neuroma, which is a benign tumor that grows on the balance nerve, and mine had grown to touching my hearing nerve, which gave me hearing loss.  (To read more about acoustic neuroma, visit the House Ear Clinic website).  Needless to say, this discovery made my 11th birthday OFFICIALLY the worst birthday ever.